Help Us Stop £15bn Tax Evaders!!

Posted: August 16, 2010 in Satire

The Middle England Bleeder (“We lead when you bleed!”) launched a new campaign last week against the tax cheats who are draining our great country of essential resources! 

And already, our hotline is on the verge of meltdown!! Indeed, we’ve never had so many calls and emails on any issue or story since our Shop a Banker Campaign in 2008!!!!

The Campaign will run for another two weeks so plenty of time for you take part and do your country a service by banging these cheats to rights!  Cheats like Margot and Jerry from Surrey, photographed below, whose veneer of middle class respectability didn’t fool you! We received an astonishing 300 calls shopping these two crooks for an array of offences.

Margot and Jerry relax after posting another false tax return

Thanks to the Bleeder’s readers and our own award-winning investigative journalism (The Nuts Prize for Fearless Journalism 2009), we can tell you today that Margot and Jerry have:

  • cheated the tax-payer out of £3m in false returns, bogus rebates and off-shore accounts;
  • sold off the assets of their own parents – who are now homeless – and avoided capital gains tax and stamp duties;
  • took their friends for cruises on their luxury yacht in Monaco and then claimed their expenses back as corporate entertainment;
  • used the services of a crooked, one-armed accountant and claimed money back for employing a disabled person!

But thanks also to some nifty anti-terrorist legislation, the Crown Prosecution Service has been able to convict these crooks. Margot and Jerry won’t be cheating England for a very long time to come!!!

Jerry begins a long stretch in Guantanamo

A spokesman for the Inland Revenue told us: “We’ve been investigating Margot and Jerry for the last three years yet we’ve been unable to collect the evidence the Bleeder has handed to us today! Thank you!”

You’re very welcome, Mr Tax Man!

And well done, readers!! You make England proud!!!


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